Halloween

I yelled
in your wide eyes
and confused smile
about your stupid friend.
You tell me,
“He’s a druggie,
Babe.”

“I do drugs
and I’m not an asshole,”
I tell you.
I continued to yell
in our good friends bathroom.
I saw the two
of us in a toothpaste
splattered window.
I try
to get out, wrapping
one of my little hands
around the knob and one
against your high shoulder.
You hold me back
and bring my face up,
grasping my head in your hands
to tell me you love me.
“You’re finally mine.”

I left you
in that bathroom
sitting on the edge
of the scummy tub.

Halloween night
turned into the first
of November while I waited
in a blunt smoke thick
living room
of laser beams, solo cups,
glow sticks, and two kegs
for you to come
find me and my
Michael Jackson inspired shoulders
hips and lips.

“Where’s my beautiful
girlfriend?” I heard
you yell from the porch in distress.

You picked me up off my feet
and kissed me.
As you lowered me
to the ground. My feet
were at the ceiling.
I opened my eyes and you squeezed me
tight
with your arms around my size 4 waist
reaching your pointer fingers to my belly
button.

You slumped
your tall, still body
in a chair in a bedroom.
You saw me
through little cracks

It was time to go and
we left together into
a damp night of costumes
and acid soaked candied lips.

You lifted me up off my bed
and carried me
out of my bedroom.
I saw the reflection
of my tattoo on my naked
hip
in the bathroom mirror.
You threw me
down onto the leather
couch
and we filled its cushions.

We stuck to the leather
with alcohol filled sweat
so I led you
off that couch
to take advantage
of the wide plain of my living room
floor
surrounded by photos
of my roommates family and
the friends we’ve shared
since high school.

Their eyes watched you
follow me
on your knees.

My knees press into the carpet
as I pulled my hair

nothing else was in reach.